Squire Years--Pranks
by Ortholeine
Summary: Alan was so stiff but fiery that he was perfect for pranking...as long as you didn't get caught, or he didn't know who you were for revenge. Join the men in "Alan's" life as he grows up and learns to loosen up a bit. K due to some inferences later on, as well as implied cussing (I don't curse)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello! I love the fact the Alanna hates winter (I grew up mainly in the north of the US) and couldn't resist doing this especially considering Gary and Raoul would prank "Alan" this way...enjoy! Any suggestions are welcome**

Winter was Squire Alan's least favorite season for many reasons, none of which he shirked from complaining about. It was always cold. Snow made you wet and cold, and it was hard to move around in. No one, not even bandits were out during winter, which meant she didn't have to be. Alanna froze and hated the cold. The Prince's squire was never a morning person, and combined with her hating the cold that was more imminent on winter mornings made her grumpy…well, more grumpy than usual. That being said, most of her friends knew not to mess with her during the cold months. Raoul and Gary, being the pranksters they were at heart, could therefore not resist teasing their little fire ball of a friend.

It was the middle of summer, on an exceptionally cool night. The little lad had somehow escaped coming to _another_ court function and the knights wanted some pay back. Raoul was jealous that Alan's attendance wasn't mandatory like his, and Gary had been trying to get the resilient squire to dance with the court ladies for his opinions on them. The two got together in the early hours of the morning (they had gotten drunk and went down to the Dancing Dove to get sober, only to achieve a higher level of drunkenness before returning) and began planning. They knew very well that Alan hated the cold, and being wet—why else would the little punk avoid swimming so much?—and soon they had the perfect revenge concocted.

Right as the two shook hands a figure appeared out of the shadows behind them, making them jump. Gary grinned at the aforementioned squire's knight master. "So," he drawled, eyes glinting maliciously, "care to help us? Let us into your squire's rooms, perhaps?" Jon's smile was only made more evil by the sparkle in his eyes as the prince looked at his friends and spoke. "Right this way, gentlemen."

Alanna had been having a nice dream. In it, she had just been knighted and no one hated her. It had surprised Alanna, even more so when the dream took turn in which she saw herself practicing magic in the desert…in a nice and _warm_ desert. There may not have been snow that night but it was too cold for Alanna's liking and the coverings she was buried under may have been what muffled the sound of 2 grown men (in body if not in mind) sneaking into her rooms. She also didn't hear the slosh of water in a bucket.

Jon, having gone into his rooms, knocked on their connecting doors. When she didn't answer he knocked harder and louder before shouting "Alann-Alan! Get up!" He grinned when he heard only a groan and some shuffling. He opened the door. The prince nodded at his friends who in turn heaved the bucket onto the unsuspecting squire. She sat up with a screech, which caused the 3 friends to roll on the floor laughing at her comical expression with her sopping wet red hair plastered around her pale face that had 2 blazing balls of purple that promised pain if not death for the offenders. They finally stopped laughing long enough to see her standing above them with Lightning in her hands.

True fear enveloped them and the 3 knights scrambled off of the floor of her room and bolted out the door, the irate squire running after them with 2 shadows, one of a cat the other of a man, following her. Even as she ran Alanna was grateful that she had kept her chest bound the night before after training extra with her sword. George grinned as Faithful took a turn different from where Alanna went and took after the cat. The King of Thieves knew the 'cat' was not all it seemed, and so wasn't very surprised when he found Jon ahead of him, crouched in a small alcove. Rogue that he was, he startled the poor man 5 feet in the air. Jon smiled sheepishly at his older friend who simply put a finger to his mouth to indicate silence.

George leant forward and whispered in the prince's ear. "I'll distract her; you run an' find Gary and Raoul—you lot should head back to the Dancin' Dove and whole up there. Solom will be 'appy to see you 3." Jon had just agreed when his eyes widened in genuine fear. George shoved the prince away and whisper-yelled at him as the wrath of the squire was turned on him. "Run, afore the lass guts the only heir to the throne!"

Alanna was suddenly met with handsome hazel eyes and an all too familiar grin. She scowled and let Lightning drop. "What are you doing here?" The harsh whisper came out more like a growl as she was dragged into the shadows. Alanna let George lead her by the unarmed hand back to her rooms. Once there he shut the door and laughed as she attempted to warm up by quickly applying multiple layers of clothing over her now dry nightshirt (she had changed out of the wet one from under the dry one). Alanna's face twisted into a scowl again.

George had half a mind to offer to tuck her in back decided against it, realizing the sheets would be wet. With his mind thus preoccupied he didn't notice the swinging fist that clipped him on the chin. George ended up on the ground with an irate and slowly calming down Alanna above him. The sight of her flushed face, burning eyes, and wet hair made him laugh even more and that was how Jon, Gary, and Raoul found them—squire and king of thieves laughing to their hearts content.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry it's been so long—I've been working on my other fics, as well as getting sick. Thanks to Cre8ivBookworm for reviewing: I'm glad you liked the first prank! Enjoy! P.S. 2 things—I don't own any of the characters and/or places, and I don't know if I got Jon in character in this one but…oh well…**

Alan was not in a good mood. It was summer, which meant sweat, and heat, and more sweat, and stinky boys, and hot weather, and did he mention it would be hot and sweaty? Of course he didn't mention them—and neither Alanna, his secret identity. If she did then the boys (all except Jon, he had been in a much better frame of mind towards her since they had become lovers) would harp on her about her supposed fear of water. She was sitting underneath her tree, like normal, trying to ignore the naked bodies of boys—some men now—when she nodded off.

That was all Raoul and Gary needed. With Alex's help they filled a bucket with water and crept up on the squire. Her pale face was pink from the sun and heat, her red hair soaked already in sweat. Gary stroked his mustache, and tried very hard to keep a chuckle quiet. Raoul simply grinned even wider, and Alex smiled menacingly. They put a finger to their lips when some of their squires yelled over to them, and soon the entire area was deathly quiet. A few moments later they were rewarded with a furious yelp. It was heard all the way at the stables. Stefan looked out the door, and saw 2 giants running towards the palace, with a spot of dark red after them. He shook his head and went back to the horses—after sending a pigeon to his master mentioning that there would be some knights seeking refuge in his court that night.

Alan (or Alanna) quivered with rage, sopping wet. Terrified servants edged around her, whispering behind their hands. She stomped to her room and was grateful Jon had had to go to a council with his father. If her prince had seen this she never would hear the end of it—not that she would anyway. When the squire was in her room, she slammed the door and started to strip.

Once she was in dry clothes and only slightly calmer, she sat on her bed. A black cat with eyes as violet as her own jumped up onto her lap, curled his tail, and rubbed his head against her legs. Alanna scowled at Faithful.

"Where were you? If you had gone out, then I wouldn't have to kill Gary and Raoul." Faithful licked his paw distastefully.

_I was inside like any sane person. Besides, you don't have to kill them: you're simply in a foul mood_. Alanna's already red face turned more like the color of maroon.

"I am not in a foul mood!" She shouted. A chuckle at the door adjoining her room to Jon's made her look up and flush. The prince walked in, still laughing at his squire's attitude. Alanna still didn't look at him as he sat on her bed behind her, and lay back against the pillows.

"Talking to Faithful again I see?" She nodded mutely and tried to calm down as she pet Faithful. The cat purred and stretched in her hands. Jon grinned and sat up. He leant closer to his squire and inspected her red hair. It was normally fiery like her but was currently darker…and wet. Jon lifted a few strands and began to play with them.

"What happened to you, dear squire?" Alanna stiffened and Jon grinned again, knowing it would be good. Faithful leapt off of his mistress's lap and raced through Jon's door. Alanna looked disparagingly after her cat. Left alone with her knight master she now was the only one to share the events of earlier in the day.

"I was taking a nap outside, while Gary and Raoul and the other squires were swimming. I was woken up rather rudely by a bucket of pond water…" Jon hooted, and flopped backwards on her bed. It shook with his laughter, which only served to infuriate her more.

"It's not funny Jon! I was sleeping peacefully and they woke me up—getting me wet no less!" Jon attempted to stop laughing, and after a while finally succeeded. He wiped tears from the corners of his eyes. He scooted forward on the bed and put an arm around Alanna's waist. She somewhat reluctantly leaned into him. If any of their friends (other than George) had seen them it would have caused uproar.

"I am sorry, Alanna. It's just that you may have avoided swimming, but not getting wet. You're like a cat that way—napping in the sun, avoiding baths." Jon finished with a smirk: and an elbow in the ribs. He rubbed the spot with his free hand, while the other squeezed his lover. He rested his head on top of hers which lay on his shoulder. The handsome man enjoyed the feel of her in his arm. Jon kissed the top of her head.

"Besides, they more than likely have a valid reason for doing it, other than of course seeing you angry." Alanna simply huffed. Jon smiled gently and changed the way they were seated. Alanna found herself on his lap, legs to one side, facing him with his hands gripping her shoulders. Alanna willingly closed her eyes as he kissed her deeply. She wrapped her own arms around his chest, barely brushing fingertips. So instead the squire grabbed fistfuls of her prince's shirt, and pulled him closer. They continued kissing, it slowly becoming more and more passionate. Jon knew they should stop soon, before taking it too far in broad daylight or one of their many, _noisy_, friends burst in uninvited. The questions that would arise from being caught like this stopped the young prince. He pulled back, Alanna chasing after the kiss. He grinned at her face which was almost the same color as her hair.

Jon chuckled and shook his head. He didn't stop her from sliding off of his lap and straightening her tunic. They shared a smile before Jon stood. Alanna tilted her head at him.

"Jon, why are you back so soon? I thought you were at one of your father's councils." He sighed and ran a hand through is dark hair. The prince sat back down and rested his elbows on his knees before answering.

"It was getting boring, and I had no reason to be there. Father wasn't doing too well either, what with being so worried about Mother, and he dismissed us." Alanna felt sympathy for her lover, knight master, and friend, but could not feel any empathy. Without a loving father, or parent of her own, she didn't know what he was going through. Jon must have noticed her reservations and took one of her hands in his.

"It'd be as if Myles or Coram had someone they cared about who was ill, and they couldn't focus on teaching, guarding, or getting drunk." Alanna's face went grim at first, but that last part made her grin. They stood, and Jon stretched. Even if the meeting hadn't lasted the originally estimated length, it had still been tiring. He grinned at Alanna. Her hair was still darker from getting wet. A thought came to the prince, and a mischievous and devious glint appeared in his blue eyes. Alanna, had she known what he had in mind, would have dreaded the coming days of summer. As it were she simply groaned.

"I have an idea." Jon stated slowly. Alanna smirked.

"Now there's something." Jon mockingly glared at her.

"Listen—if you're so upset about getting wet…how about you return the favor somehow? I bet you more than anything that the culprits will be hiding out at the Dancing Dove tonight, and you know George doesn't mind a few extra guests at his table…" Alanna's own face and eyes turned thoughtful. When she grinned it was obvious she was thinking along the same lines as Jon: or had her own idea. Whichever was more frightening. Both seemed plenty scary to Jon who shivered and was grateful that his fellow knights had gotten to his squire first so that he didn't have to be the one to face her wraith.

"I think it's high time to pay George a visit, Jon." Alanna said.

**A/N: If you guys liked it, have any advice, or idea about what you want to come next or in the future please review or pm me!**


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